The Hissing of the Silent Lonely Room (The Christy Kennedy Mysteries Book 5) by Paul Charles

Author:Paul Charles [Charles, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Fahrenheit Press
Published: 2017-06-20T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

Happy Birthday To You!

Wednesday 18th November

IT’S MY father’s birthday today, Wednesday 18th November. He was born in 1928. He died when I was only five and still not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. I remember sitting on his knee, the knee of his good leg. He was always tense and awkward with me, a wee bit like I see Yeatsie behaving with Jens and Holmer now. It’s kind of like, ‘This is my child so I should be close to her; I don’t feel anything, but I’m going to act as though we’re close in the hope that we might become close.’ Is that why I wanted my father’s affections so much, because I didn’t have them?

Here I am, all these years later, twenty-seven to be exact, and I’m still anxious for his affections. Is that why I feel, still feel, mad at my mother? Do I blame her? And if I accept the fact that I blame her, does that mean that I must therefore accept the responsibility for the fact that Yeatsie behaves exactly the same way with Jens? He’s a bit more parental with Holmer, particularly the older Holmer becomes. There’s a bit of bonding going on there now. Is that because Yeatsie can see this small child forming into his own person with his own mind and independence and that intellectually stimulates him? His creation is developing a mind that won’t accept everything that is said and is not scared of questioning. Yes, that’s it, I’m sure. I’ve noticed the look in Yeatsie’s eyes and it’s pride, I’m sure of it!

Yeatsie keeps telling me that he doesn’t like putting Holmer to bed, because not only does he (Holmer) want stories read to him but even when they’ve been read, Holmer doesn’t want to surrender to the night, to sleep, to fall into darkness, to slip into unconsciousness. Yeatsie says that the more tired Holmer becomes, the more positively he fights against sleep and, the more inevitable it becomes the more dangerous it is. His eyes get heavy and he knows he is falling asleep but for some reason he doesn’t want to. Why is he so scared of sleep, Yeatsie asks. Holmer’s not scared of the dark, he’s not scared of what’s under the bed, he fears neither what’s in the wardrobe nor what’s out in the hallway. So why then is he so scared of going to sleep? Then, when Holmer is about to drop off, he insists on having his father lie in the bed beside him so that he can intertwine his little legs with his father’s. He won’t hug his father as he falls asleep, he usually lies with his back against him Yeatsie tells me, but he always makes sure their legs are intertwined. Is that a safety net for when he falls deep into slumberland? Does he believe his father will soften the blow of sleep?

Yeatsie wants to know what Holmer sees when he goes to sleep.

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